4 months… mama trying

Everyone said time would fly by and here we are at month 4. We have managed to keep the baby alive and I still have an old Merle Haggard song in my head about a boy who turns “21 in prison doing life without parole, no one could steer me right but mama tried, mama tried…” All I can think is that I am trying my best (mama is trying – PLEASE don’t turn 21 in prison…)

In 4 months I have found –

that I know more crude lyrics to songs than I ever realized and I can sing them at a moments notice to get the baby distracted. A little grunt from him and Nellie’s Hot in Here is coming out my mouth. I don’t recall the Beastie Boy’s as seeming “inappropriate” to me but when I sing Brass Monkey I worry I may be over the line. AND don’t ask me where the hell a Merle Haggard song even comes from but I seem to have a never ending supply of accurate song lyrics and am not afraid to sing them out loud day or night. Hot Damn (love the new “Too Hot” song).

bodily fluids have lost their “grossness” – it’s so whatever. Yeah I have some type of fluid drying on me somewhere. Including my own milk. What of it?! Maybe if my husband gets home from work early I can actually shower because any time I try to sneak away for a quick “me” thing the baby knows and his radar goes off – loudly – lungs work!

I have lost my fear of wrangling the baby. It’s much easier to get him in and out of clothes. I can use the side to side rolling to distract the grumpiness! He feels so much more solid. Bigger is better! Even if my arms go to sleep while holding him.

I care less about the “everything” else and more about having that early morning smile time. I almost can’t stand it – it’s so sweet.

Most 4 month olds do not weight 20 pounds. I have a “husky” baby.

I both love and envy seeing my huzz/husband as a father. He is amazing. Truly. Yesterday I was showing our place in Cali in order to get it rented to this young couple  who was just hanging out and chatting – long enough that the baby started to get fussy. Huzz had just gotten home from work. Walked in and the baby just lit up seeing him. No more fussing. All smiles for his dad. It was awesome and a moment that I want to go and watch. Had to hustle the couple along!!

Sleeping is getting easier but it’s still not interrupted. I’d give almost anything for a nice long stretch of deep/comfy/relaxing/rested/ sleep!

I now worry about the language we are using for nursing. My huzz may ask if “it’s time for a boob” or “time to top off” the baby. I wonder if it will be completely embarrassing to have the baby ask me these things in public… so maybe just maybe it’s time to head off our vocabulary at the pass before it’s too late.

I will leave you with a quote from a friend “I don’t know why everyone is always rushing little ones into walking and talking when later on all you want is for them to sit down and shut up…enjoy the relative quiet now.”